i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
