Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
