My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
