I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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