Porn is love you can see.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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