living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
