You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
