I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
