I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
