i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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