This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
