Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
