i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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