carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
