WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
