I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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