I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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