never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
