i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize