So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
