To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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