I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
