I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize