what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
