Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
