We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
