a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
