Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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