You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
another moral hangover. fuck.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
