I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if only i could text you this smell
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
