K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
