I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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