I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
