We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
