He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need water and some morals
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