How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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