Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
