Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
