PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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