where am i from again
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
