So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
