GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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