I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
