I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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