dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize