Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
