It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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