let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
