If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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