Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
