I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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