You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
