The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize