anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
