Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
