I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
