Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
