My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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