Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
