New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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