Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
