Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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