i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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