paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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