youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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