I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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