He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
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Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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