no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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