Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
