I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
