Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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