Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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