I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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