I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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